talking to joey

Nils did a blog post on how to quit smoking. I read it. And just as no one ever really thinks about Norway much, I didn't think about Nils' blog entry much. I know the way to quit smoking. And I'm going to detail it for you. You start by running to the grocery store and finding some snacks, something healthy like broccoli. You bring the broccoli home and, as you're spending your evening relaxing with a stalk of broccoli in your hand (which is, of course, how we all spend our time relaxing), you may find you have a craving for a cigarette. This is where the technique comes into play, and I think it's best detailed with a series of photos:

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As pathetic as it sounds, I actually have occasional dreams about smoking. The circumstances in the dreams vary, but the emotional aspect is the same: a combination of elation, satisfaction and mild guilt. It's been a month and a week now since I've last smoked, and it certainly gets easier, but I don't think I'll ever stop wanting one. And of course there's the concept of going back to being a "social smoker", the kind of person who only smokes when they're drinking or hanging out with friends. I've heard multiple sources say that for a former full-time smoker it can either be done but is difficult, or is totally impossible to do and not pick up the habit again. I'm debating whether I want to test this out for myself. It's complicated. Because on the one level I think, "Why can't I have a single cigarette here and there? It's not a big deal." And the logic is perfectly sound I think for someone who has never full-time smoked. But as a former smoker, I have to examine the logic behind this logic; is it truly just a desire to smoke a cigarette casually or is it my craving trying to give me a reason to be able to satisfy an urge? Will I just be trying to convince myself that it's ok to have a cigarette here and there just so I can smoke again? So for now I haven't smoked any, and am still debating whether I want to ruin the streak of smoke-less days I've had in order to test the "casual smoker" idea, or whether the "casual smoker" idea has, for the once-smoker, been forever rendered an impossibility. Like having an 8 year relationship with someone and then trying to go back to being friends.

It's been a week and a day since I smoked my last cigarette. I'm proud of myself. This is the longest in 8 years that I've gone without smoking. After the first week, it certainly gets a bit easier. But it's not that I stop wanting cigarettes, but rather the craving for cigarettes becomes like the whining of an annoying little kid whom ignoring becomes a habit. So really, I quit the habit of smoking and pick up the habit of ignoring smoking. Which is rather disappointing to learn that the desire's always going to be there and that I just have to ignore it all my life. But I'd rather be in obedience to the nagging voice that says to quit than to the one that says to smoke.